Earlier this week, my parents had asked if my daughter and myself would consider joining them on a trip to the big island this weekend as a bit of a treat. It has been over 4 months since I set foot on a ferry and recently, due to my ongoing anxiety issues, this has seemed even less likely for me.
Well today was the day.
I got up at what I would consider early (well, when you’ve been off work for 3 months anything before 11am is early) and had some breakfast. This is more important that it actually sounds as I don’t usually eat a proper breakfast as it sets my IBS off (another story I might go into one day but probably won’t). Anyways, I got dressed, did some colouring in to try to finish the picture I have been slaving over the last few days and waited for my parents to arrive. They were on time (for once) and we drove to the ferry terminal. After being able to drive straight on to the ferry we got out of the car and went upsatirs to find a seat and relax.
That’s when it began. My legs were shaking, my eyes were nervously looking for the exits and checking the weather and sea conditions outside. This wasn’t much help as it was thick fog and we could barely see the front of the ferry from our seats in the lounge. The journey itself went by without any problems and we arrived safely on the other side of the water to begin our day out on the big island. After a 20 minute drive we then arrived at our destination which was to be Beaulieu and the National Motor Museum. I’m not going to go in to the full detail of the day out as this isn’t ‘trip advisor’ but it was a good day.
This led me to question what I am actually worried about. Is it everything? Is it nothing? Is it a combination of tiny things which I turn in to a big thing? The simple answer is I do not know. What I do know it that days like this make me forget for a little while that there is actually something wrong with the wiring of my brain and remind me that things can be good for no reason other than just being good. There is no hidden agenda, it’s just the way it is. I’m sure it’ll come back to bite me in the bum one day but I actually enjoy this feeling and almost forgot what it felt like.
Well, now I’m safely back on my small island it’s time to get some rest before I see what tomorrow has to bring………………….