These last couple of days I have had little energy to do anything other than go to work. For some unknown reason I have lost all my ‘get up and go’ and it has ‘got up and gone’. I know it’ll come back but it frustrates me that it has gone just in an instant.
Many factors have played a part in this (I think) but the main one has been the onset of change. To an anxious mind like mine, change is never a good thing but there is one way around it that I have learnt from various sources and that is to turn it into something useful.
The change that is coming is that our family is moving. We have an awesome housemate (who I know is subscribed to this very blog) who has lived with us for a good number of years but it is now time to start out on our own. Sadly in recent months my wife has come into some money through the passing of some of her elderly relatives. This has been set aside for us to use as a deposit for our very first house.
It is at this point that I now realise I have to put on my big boy pants and become a grown up.
We have registered with various estate agents in town and my wife has even been to look at a property already. I haven’t seen it yet but considering I never saw the last 2 houses we have rented I consider her a pretty good judge (she married me so she must be pretty good at making decisions). We are going to look at the same place tomorrow afternoon and a different one in the morning. Both of these houses are of a similar style but it has made us think about how much ‘stuff’ we have that we just don’t need. We have a pretty good idea of how much we can take with us and I’m going to brutal about what we don’t take with us, right down to my ever decreasing CD collection.
The most important thing I will take with me is memories. Stuff is just material things to help us remember but the actual memories will last forever. I am looking at this as challenge that I will win and it will lead to a new future for us all. My daughter starts high school in September, we will be moving by the end of this year and next year and my wife has started a new role where she works. It feels scary but exciting all at once and I am pleasantly terrified.
This week has also taught me the true value of friendship. A good friend of mine has recently been through some hard times and today was a day when she needed a shoulder. I was sat in the catering unit at work and I heard a voice call my name. When I turned around I could see my friend in distress so immediately put my things down and went to help. A panic attack was starting and my friend was scared she couldn’t breathe so I sat her down and stayed with her until it passed. We had a good chat, talked a few things over and laughed at some very inappropriate things. The end result was that I was able to give back some of the love and support that had been afforded to me through my troubles and it felt good. The other thing that came out of it was that I also came to see how much I am loved by people. Apparently when I was with my friend helping her to calm down my colleagues were looking for me as they were worried I had relapsed and was on my own. It made me incredibly grateful to have the people I do in my life and I know that I will never be able to say thank you enough to all of them.
Whatever you all get up to this weekend may the sun shine on you and if it doesn’t then just remember that there’s no such thing as bad weather………just the wrong type of clothes