Contrary to the title of this blog I am not partaking in any water activities at this particular point in time. As a child living in Somerset my dad used to drive my brother and I down to Newquay so we could do a bit of body-boarding but that’s about the limit of my ability. I could probably pick it up again now but the waters around the small island are particularly cold most times of the year. There are little pockets of the small island that feel almost tropical (in that the water temperature is above 5*C). Without the use of an industrial thickness wetsuit my thin frame would be extremely vulnerable. There is a pretty big surfing community on the small island but not one that I would feel happy in given my lack of recent experience.
Sailing could be an option but, again, my lack of relevant experience would probably put paid to that idea almost straight away. All other options available to me don’t really excite me too much as they mostly seem like I have to put in a lot of effort for not very much in return. Kayaking ‘could’ be an idea as there are some lovely little creeks and waterways around the coast to explore but my lack of transport means that is a non starter. Unless they would allow me to carry it on to the bus.

Anyways, I’m waffling again.

This particular wave that I have been riding lately is one of positivity. I have a number of things going on at the moment and one of them (if anyone has kept up with my recent blogs) is that we are buying a house. We have had our offer accepted and it is now in the hands of some very clever people who know legal stuff to finish the process. I had an appointment on Monday to sort out the mortgage and for the first time in this journey so far I felt ‘safe’. It was all going well. I had prepared all the paperwork that was needed such as payslips, bank statements and passports. I was on time to my appointment (an accomplishment in itself considering how anxious I was) and went through all the questions as if I had done it before (which I haven’t). Then it came the time for the credit check to be done. I have a pretty steady credit rating and have never had any trouble repaying loans / cards but for some reason the application was put on referral. I left it in the hands of the mortgage broker who assured me it would be fine but I walked away from the office with a feeling of dread.

What if they said no? What if the broker couldn’t find another deal for us? What if we have to pull out before we’ve even got anywhere? What if the estate agents put the house back on the market?

These questions went round and round in my head for a full 24 hours before I eventually heard back from our mortgage broker. My positivity was being pushed to the limit because my wife was even convinced that it would fail but when I got the result of the referral I was over the moon (not literally of course) but I was high on a wave of happiness. The mortgage company said yes and we then went in to planning mode. Bedroom 3 is going to be my wife’s craft room. I have a picture needs framing that is going above the serving hatch in the dining room and my daughter has been thumbing through the Argos catalogue and the Ikea website looking at new bedroom furniture for her new room. I also have a plan for the garage becoming a man cave for me to escape from the ‘real world’ for a bit.

I am also feeling more positive about my illness as I have received the start date for my therapy. I am on a 6 week course for ‘Overcoming Anxiety’ which will then be followed by a course on ‘Self Esteem’ and then finally with another session on depression.

Finally I have a holiday in Cornwall booked for the end of July.

There finally seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel as opposed to there being someone just waving a torch at me.

Freedom………………………………….(for the time being)

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