For a long time when I was younger Therapy? was the name of one of my favourite bands in the world. They were (and still are) a punky, rocky band with amazing songs that became anthems sung by many a teenager in their bedroom. I was one of those teenagers who sang along (rather badly if I may add) to their tapes. Yes, before the invention of CD’s there were cassettes. Before that there was vinyl and I am old enough to remember both. Anyway, my point is that I had no idea what therapy actually was outside of the music world. I knew it existed but thought (in my naivety) it was for seriously ill people as I’d only ever really seen / heard it in the movies.

Well it isn’t.

Today I started the first part of the next stage in my recovery. After my complete meltdown at the beginning of this year where I ended up being seen by the mental health team at the hospital I was referred for therapy to help me in 3 aspects of my illness. Anxiety, self-esteem and depression. The first of these that I am dealing with is the anxiety and it is a 6 week course. I had work in the morning and managed to arrange for me to leave for a couple of hours in the afternoon so that I could attend. I never made a big fuss of it to my family and work colleagues as I was conscious that if I did, I would end up talking myself out of going as it something completely out of my comfort zone.

I arrived at the building a little early and got buzzed in to the reception area. I signed in and then sat in the waiting area. Unsure what to expect I sat down, avoided eye contact with the other people in there and got my fidget spinner out of my pocket. Happily twiddling my fingers I calmed down and felt ready to join in. The group leader came in, showed us all through to the room where the session would take place and I picked a seat in the corner. There was a wonderful mix of ages and I’m pretty sure it reminded us all that we are never alone in this. We’re all in it together.

Obviously I am not going to go in to detail about what was said / talked about by anyone but suffice to say it was a positive experience for me. I came away from the session with a spring in my step and a renewed enthusiasm for getting better. I am still aware that it is only just the beginning of this journey but my eyes have been well and truly opened to therapy and what it can do. I have another 5 sessions of this particular group to attend and I know that by the end of it I won’t exactly be ‘cured’ but at least I’ll have a few more items in my ‘mental toolbox’ to enable me to deal with my anxiety better.

Oh well, I’d better go and do my homework for next week…………………..

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