Those of you who know me (in real life and not just digitally) will know that I have bought a house. Not on my own obviously, my wife and daughter are coming with me too but it is going to be our very first ‘family’ home.

If I’m honest it has gone easier than I expected it to go and I’ve not had much to worry about. I probably should have panicked but I’ve reasoned it in my head that we are paying solicitors and mortgage brokers to deal with all that grown up stuff for us.

Well it is beginning to look like the light at the end of the tunnel is getting closer.

We received a phone call in the middle of last week to inform us that we were now at the point of exchanging contracts and this could go ahead once we transfer the necessary funds. At this point this last sentence reads like I have been selected for a ‘special’ lottery prize but I assure you I am not related to a Nigerian prince or the recipient of an unexpected windfall from a  family member I never knew existed. However it is all a good sign that things are coming to the end. We have exchanged contracts and now have a completion date of 18th September which gives me plenty of time to get my anxieties under control and get my head used to the fact that we are responsible adults. We still have a few things to cover and these are in the process of getting done but once everything is paid for it will be over. Or at least the main stress filled bit will be.

I will try not to go on about it too much.

I promise.

Then again, it’s my blog, my facebook, my instagram and my life. I don’t need to sugar coat anything or project a ‘perfect’ image to anyone anymore to make myself feel better. I am quite capable of building myself up (and putting myself down) on my own.

Lately I have put the thought in my head that I am flooding everyone’s news feeds, instagram feeds and such like with talk of my move, doodles that I have done and things that are going on in my life right now. And I’m beginning to make myself feel guilty for doing it.

Why?

I don’t have the answer to that but I know deep in my head (past the bit that is filled with inappropriate jokes and humour) that I have nothing to be guilty about. I think we all have that element in us where we want to show off the things we are proud of and that should be celebrated. However this often makes us feel like we have to only show the good points. This can end up leaving us feeling empty and guilty that we may not be good as the next person.We often worry too much about what everyone else might think of us.

Life at the moment is going good for me and is continuing to go upwards and I intend to shout it out whenever I am able. I have a family who loves me, friends who care and a lot to look forward to. Everyone who knows me is genuinely happy to see me getting back to my former self and I know that.

So if a few lot of pictures that look a bit tripped out, a little bit psychedelic and generally strange happen to drop into your feeds you have 2 options. Look at it or scroll on. I won’t be offended if you choose the 2nd option as that is what life is all about. Choice.

I am now choosing to do things that make me happy and not because it’s what I think others think I should do. I’m not going to lie, it feels a bit selfish at times but I think at 40yrs old I have now earned the right to concentrate on me a bit more.

Don’t worry though. I have also learned that I should shout out when I’m not having a good time either. Life isn’t always straightforward (don’t we wish it could be?) and on those times I will be sharing too. That is my choice.

For now I am staying positive and looking ahead and at the moment the view looks great

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