As I sit here at the wedding of one of our most wonderful friends I am reminded of how much I value my family and those close to me. My wife looks beautiful (she always does but she never believes me when I tell her that) and I’ve even made an effort and am wearing a jacket and smart trouser.

The wedding itself was a beautifully simple affair with enough people who care about our lovely circle.

There was no fuss, no big pomp and ceremony. Instead there was a room full of love and understanding. There was no seating plan for the tables, no speeches and it felt so relaxed.

This was then followed by an amazing BBQ and a mobile ice cream seller which just added to the calming atmosphere.

So why do I feel the need to withdraw myself from the festivities? Socially I am sat at the table listening to the conversation topics but mentally I am wanting to be at home. Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying the day and our friend looks truly stunning but I am screaming inside to be let out. I can’t explain the feeling properly but I don’t feel anxious, just uncomfortable.

I’ve tried my best to smile when I need to, join in conversation when I have to and be part of photograph but I don’t know how much more I can give.

I’m tired

I’m irritated about nothing in particular.

This will pass eventually

The only thing keeping me going right now is my wife and my choice of socks x